


of us

by zeprince



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-10 06:38:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4381094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeprince/pseuds/zeprince
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>North never tires of Theta, as difficult as he may be, sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	of us

**Author's Note:**

> A silly little fic about happy freelancers enjoying a peaceful modern life. I've fallen into the RvB hellhole and I can't escape. Don't send help, the hole was made for me.

York lived in a semi-constant and intense awe of the power of science. He wasn't that old – hell, he'd only been married a year – but despite having been born before most of the things he used today come into his life, he sometimes had trouble imagining being without it.

He didn't think that robots were going to take over the world and kill them and he wasn't really convinced that wifi was killing their children. He knew that governments and corporations knew more about his online activities than he felt comfortable with but beyond installing some safe-browsing software he wasn't sure if there was much else he could do. He played video games and he didn't believe they were causing violence in youth and he he indulged himself, on occassion, in a selfie that he would post to his facebook and prompty forget about until his mom commented on it, but that was that.

He liked to think he and his husband were relatively savvy and modern when it came to these sort of things. Sure, technology would stump him sometimes, but more often it was his own human error that made it a problem, not the tech itself. It wasn't the computer's fault he couldn't remember how to get into any single one of their online accounts.

“North, what's our Amazon password?” He called behind him, eyes still glued to the screen. “Fucking locked me out again.

He didn't get a response, though, only a frustrated sigh from North that made him turn around, mouth half-open and ready to ask why North was _so_ upset that he'd forgot one of their stupid fucking passwords-

“Theta, _please_ ,” North said in quiet exhasperation.

York couldn't help but laugh. His husband sat on the floor in front of the cat's litter box, one of their two Roombas turned upside down on his lap. With quiet, gentle fingers, he was trying to pick out some piece of plastic from within the inner workings of the machine, and it was making a high-pitched whining sound as if in real, genuine distress. Hell, maybe it was. York didn't know the vacuum's feelings.

“What happened?” York asked, still laughing as he got up out of his desk chair to walk over to them. His hands landed easily on North's shoulders, fingers working in a massaging motion to the base of his neck. North sighed, tilting his head a little and letting his arms go limp, the cleaning robot still beeping at him for help.

“It got stuck on something again. This never happens with Delta.”

“Delta just spends twenty minutes trying to dock perfectly,” York pointed out, and North just sighed again.  
“Do you think we just got two really faulty units, or are they all like this?”  
“I don't think artificial intelligence is all that it's cracked up to be,” York said, finally sitting down next to North and their tiny robot. North went back to his prying, finally getting the plastic free of the bot's bottom junk.

Theta gave a satisfied boop as it was put back down rightside-up on the floor, whirring away in victory into the bedroom, and North let out a sigh as he watched it go.

“They grow up so fast, don't they?” York said fondly, and North gave him a light shove.

“Stuff it, you,” he said. “You father the damn things too much.”

“I do? North, have you seen yourself? You hover over them when they're cleaning. You say _hi_ when we get home. It's a fucking vacuum.”

North opened his mouth as if to argue back, but then he just closed it, his face relaxing and shoulders slumping in a sigh. York gave them another quick rub and climbed half-overtop of North to get into his lap, pressing a quiet, easy kiss to the corner of his mouth. North's lips twitched into a half-smile, and York full on grinned, kissing them again full-on with purpose.

A pitiful cry from the hallway made him look up, and North let out a quiet sigh, nudging York off of him so he could stand and walk towards their bedroom.

“What is it, Delta?” York heard him say, and York couldn't help but giggle again. North was always like this; when they first got their kitten five years ago, when his sister had come home with a puppy last November, when he saw children crying in the line at the grocery store and pulled faces to distract them. York didn't realize it would have carried over to their half-useful and vacuums – but he supposed they were personable enough that it was inevitable.

He was smart enough to know that they were probably projecting and that the vacuum bots had about as much personality as any old vacuum they'd ever had, but as York leaned in the doorway and watched his husband usher the cat out of the way so Delta could finally dock properly.

“I'm glad I married someone so finely in touch with our cleaning AI,” York joked, and North just shot him a goofy half-smile. (God, York hated when he did that. It still made his tummy do things some called flips and others butterflies but mostly he just felt like he was squeezing and melting all at once. God _damn_ it, North.)

“They just need a bit of help, sometimes,” North said gently, picking up the cat and holding her in his arms. She bat at his face softly, and he made kissing noises at her.

York grinned again, moving forward so he was face to face with North, their kitty squished between them.

“Kitty squish,” North said, gently squeezing her between their chests. She licked her paw, unnaffected, and he let her go back down, and she trotted away to the bathroom.

York sighed, kissing North's check and settling properly against his chest.

“Finally, some time alone without the kids.”

North laughed at that, pressing his face against his husband's with a smile.

“Oh, you.”

“I'm serious. Sometimes I don't know if the robots make our life easier or harder.”

“You know what I think, York?”

“What's that?”

“I like them. So I really don't care.”

York smiled again, and North's hands came to settle on his hips.

“Yeah. Me too, North. Me too.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I suppose it's best to let you know I know next to nothing about Roombas. I cannot yet afford a round son of my very own. Maybe soon.. maybe soon....


End file.
